March self-portrait (wild card inside).

27/03/2009

March self-portrait.

Ask Jason, ask the kids.

I’ve just been in a downright horrible grumpy mood lately.

I’m worn out, burned out, discouraged, whiny, quick to cry, quick to argue, slow to laugh; it’s the type of mood where the most minute details of life seem overwhelming and full of burden; the type of mood where old worries recycle themselves into cleverly masked reproductions and old hurts reappear despite my many previous reassurances of their ultimate demises.

It’s the type of mood that prompts me to write melodramatic posts…and then worry if I’ve been too melodramatic…or too honest…or too hidden…

: )

Anyway, yes, it’s the Anxious…the dread pirate Anxious has once again seized this vessel and is sailing her off to sea…

Only…I…I don’t want to go to sea. I want to stay grounded. I want to feel level. I want to be able to control these mood swings.

It seems like the solution should be easy; a quick answer to pluck from the sky and set into motion.

I know things I can do. Breathe, label my thoughts, focus on the moment. Be grateful for the bountiful amounts of good in my life (because there are, without a doubt, bountiful amounts of good in my life).

Sometimes, though, it just seems that all that good intellectual knowledge isn’t much of a match for the dread pirate. Sigh…

For tonight, though, I’m feeling good. Here’s a video that very aptly illustrates how I feel when I’m in a good humour. Fireworks and all. I feel it all.

There is 1 comment in this article:

  1. 3/04/2009Cindy's say:

    Don’t go out to sea. I want you here. We can always talk from desk to desk. I am sending you love and saying in my best, gruff, rough dad’s voice- (clearing throat..)Ohhh, this ain’t nothing, why when I was a kid I had to walk 5 miles to school, in the rain and snow with shoes that had holes in them - but hey I had shoes, so I was good.

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